Monday, February 02, 2004

Synchronicity

It was downright balmy today with temperatures hovering just below freezing.

Pardon me if I'm not ecstatic.

I've long made my love of wintry weather no secret. I distinctly recall writing some months ago that I liked my winters wintry, my summers summery.

I stand by that.

But if nothing else, today broke up the monotony. One can only love those frigid, take-your-breath-away days for so long before even they become the same old shit.

Pardon me if I sound pessimistic.

I am today. And I have been lately. People are frustrating me like they never have before.

I think the universe wants me to be misanthropic.

But I'm not quite--not yet. But it's hard not to be. I am finding it increasingly difficult to believe in people. One can only reach out to the darkness so many times...

But I don't want to talk about it. Talking doesn't do any good. Talk is cheap, ineffectual. People have to want to change themselves.

I feel so small.

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