Yeah, I know. Six days ago, I said a new, "real" post was imminent. A week's time hardly makes it imminent. I'm sorry. But better late than never, right?
Now for the introspection.
Having the opportunity to spend so much time alone with myself--time alone, uninterrupted by deadlines or school work--these past few months has gotten me thinking. A few months ago, I claimed to prefer not being in a relationship, even though I wasn't disinterested in being involved. Now, I question whether I really want a relationship because now I wonder, even more than I did then, if "true partnership, true and honest commitment is even possible nowadays."
I don't want to date just to date. If I can find a partner who is ready for and willing to enter into emotional intimacy; if I can find a partner who respects me and my occasional need for space; if I can find a partner who inspires me and loves me and all my quirks (sometimes even despite my quirks!), then that's just great. If not, well, that's fine, too. Because I've already found a person who's emotionally in-tune with me, who respects, inspires and love me: me.
I no longer have any problem being my own partner in life.
I mean, I still like spending time with other people, but I'm just as content--sometimes more so--to be by myself. My thoughts and my books are very good company. I no longer mind that the person/s with whom I can share these may not be connected to me in any romantic way. That they are connected to me at all is enough. I am enough.