And I feel relieved, somehow. I feel like I've put in my time and know I won't be bothered for a while. Doesn't that sound awful?! I'm a little embarrassed for feeling that way, but embarrassment won't change anything. Mr Ex and I will never be good friends. He hurt me too deeply for me to be able to trust him with the real me. We'll stick to inane chit-chat. Things'll be polite, proper, but never entirely comfortable. Is it any wonder that the end is a relief? I always felt like I had to keep myself in check when I was around him. I always felt that there were parts of me I couldn't share, that if I completely opened up--expressed everything that was within me--I'd be ridiculed. He was always so critical (he admits that he's hard on people; he's very hard on himself, too.)
And I had thought he was "the one."
I think that, more than anything, I wanted to believe he was "the one" because I wanted that magic. I think that I was more in love with the idea of being in love than with Mr Ex himself. In hindsight, I think that I wanted those fireworks so badly that I let myself see things that just weren't there, go blind to many things that were.
I'm glad I didn't realize this before it was too late.
On a happier note, Happy Canada Day!
In honour of Canada's 136th birthday, here are a few tidbits you all should know:
- our country's name comes from the Huron-Iroquois word for "village"/"settlement": "kanata" (the story--complete with a confused Jacques Cartier--is dramatized in a "Heritage Moment" commercial on national television);
- our Head of State is Queen Elizabeth II (yes, still. Damn Commonwealth status);
- Her Majesty's representative in Canada is the Governor General;
- the present Governor General is Adrienne Clarkson, a former CBC journalist;
- the Head of Government is the Prime Minister;
- Canada's highest point of elevation is Mount Logan (5959 metres high; compare to the highest point in Ontario--the Ishpatina Ridge--which is 693 metres high);
- in the Fall of 2000, parliament contemplated a name change for Mount Logan so as to honour the late Pierre Elliot Trudeau;
- parliament eventually abandoned that idea;
- the longest river in Canada is the Mackenzie River (4241 kilometres long);
- of the two sets of waterfalls that comprise Niagara Falls, the Horseshoe Falls (the bigger and--dare I say--better falls) are Canadian (though the American Falls exceeds the Horshoe Falls' vertical drop by two metres);
- Canada's largest island, Baffin Island, is the fifth largest island in the world;
- Canda's motto, as displayed on our coat of arms, is "A Mari usque ad Mare" ("From sea to sea.") According to the Canadian Heritage website, it "is based on biblical scripture: 'He shall have dominion from sea to sea and from the river unto the ends of the earth (Psalm 72:8)'. The first official use of this motto came in 1906 when it was engraved on the head of the mace of the Legislative Assembly of the new Province of Saskatchewan. The wording of the motto came to the attention of Sir Joseph Pope, then Under Secretary of State, who was impressed with its meaning. He later proposed it as motto for the new design of the coat of arms, which was approved by Order in Council on April 21, 1921 and by Royal Proclamation on November 21, 1921;"
- the current flag was adopted by the government of Prime Minister (and Noble laureate) Lester Bowles Pearson on February 15, 1965;
- contrary to popular belief, the eleven points of the maple on the Canadian flag have no particular significance;
- Pearson, a Canadian delegate to the United Nations at its inception, was awarded his Peace Prize in 1957 for his part in resolving the Suez Canal Crisis;
- red and white, Canada's official colours, were approved by King George V in 1921;
- and--contrary to popular opinion in recent months--as far as our Heads of Government go, Canada/U.S. relations have never really been warm and fuzzy.
Curious as to what the C.I.A.'s World Fact Book 2002 has to say about Canada?
1. Lemonade or Ice Cold Beer? Mmm... Beer...
2. Swimming pool or beach? Pool. No, Ker, it's not because of any "dead bodies." Rather, I can get more actual swimming done in a pool. The beach is great for just relaxing/playing in the water, though.
3. Long weekends here & there, or a 2-week vacation? Long weekends!
4. Destination: Acapulco or Hawaii? I've always wanted to go to Hawaii.
5. Destination: Mountains or Beach? The mountains.
6. Hotel/motel/B&B or camping? Camping.
7. Carefully planned vacation, or play it by ear? Play it by ear. What's the fun of in a regimented vacation?
8. Sneakers or sandals? Sandals. Better still: bare feet.
9. Air-conditioning or fans? I absolutely hate it when it gets so hot that turning on the air-conditioner is unavoidable. I prefer more mild weather (Spring/Fall temperatures) so I can keep my windows open and the fresh air flowing.
10. Concerts in the park or baseball games? I am a baseball fan, but I love live music so much more than baseball!